the personality

salam wbt.

did a personality test last week and got the result which says i belong to ESTJs group.

and when i was reading about the descriptions of ESTJs, which is undeniably true, my eyes caught at this sentences and...

ESTJs are usually strong-willed and not afraid to voice and defend their opinions, even if they are facing a formidable opposition. If, for instance, one of their subordinates is incompetent or simply lazy, the ESTJ will not hesitate to show their wrath. ESTJ personalities will stick to their principles, even if everybody turns against them.

*facepalm*

yes, i need to work harder on this. i mean, TO BE MORE PATIENT.
bukanla dengan orang bawahan ke apa, i mean towards people who are working with me, or living with me. i think, no, not think, i definitely know that i am being so harsh towards so many people. quite strict i guess.

exactly macam description tu, haritu sedap ja i pergi marah "labmate" i sorang yg duduk sebelah meja for being so lazy. meja bersepahhh sampai ke meja i dengan mugnya x basuh dengann ahhh stress. and we have like a typical women fight > x bercakap dekat sebulan, and sekarang i dah pindah ke meja lain sebab sensei suruh. great.

and i did another thing, pergi sound partner group sebab hantar task lambat and menyebabkan the whole group lambat hantar assigment.

phew. i just, i don't know. bukannya jenis yang panas baran pon, tapi jenis yang "kena cakap". "kena cakap" tu x terhad kepada teguran sahaja, but also untuk support and of course appreciation. bila orang perlukan support, suarakan sokongan kita, bila orang buat benda baik, or tolong kita, say thank you etc. and bila ada orang buat salah, kita tegur dgn teguran yg membina. and it is vice versa. you are free to advise me too when i did any mistake. macam mama selalu tegur i, even i am her daughter, and i dok komplen pasal someone being like this like that, bila mama nampak i yg salah, and she will advise me, xdak pon nak support jugak bila salah. and that is love. kalau sayang, bila nampak salah, kita tegur.

no, i x marah pon sampai tengking2 baling kerusi ke apa. it was just that, when i say something untuk bagi teguran, i said it clearly and directly. and maybe sebab tu la, i also did put a fight with so many people.

haih x faham. i suka settle benda at that point at that moment kalau x puas hati ke apa, x suka simpan2, and definitely x suka cakap kat belakang coz it won't gain any profit.

kalau orang mintak bagi pendapat dan pandangan pulak, i'll give it secara jujur dan sepenuh hati, walaupun maybe ada yg terasa hati. sebab kita x boleh puaskan hati semua pihak. and lagipun ianya hanya pandangan, nak reject pon silakan.

so, i mmg sgt confuse. like some people said that, kita kena bersabar, sabar banyak2. like heyyy, sabar is one part, tegur is also another part. kita mmg sabar, tapi kita tegur. kita tegur bukan bermaksud kita tak sabar. kita tegur for improvement. like seriously, i am not the type yang akan diammm je, pasraaaaah je bila nampak atau terjadi benda2 yg x betul. like heyy, kalau i x tegur you pasal you hantar task lambat tu, and you will thing it's okay to be late sebab ahli lain semua was like "aaa it's okay, it's okay", then lepas ni buat lagi. oh my God, i won't let that happen!

haih,  that is why i said, i need to be more patient and tolerable i guess. i seriously have to. sebab bila baca pasal different type of personalities, well there are also people who dont really care about time, about responsibility..each personality have their own cons and they didnt ask to be that way.
me didn't ask being me either. i wish i could become more loving and caring plus more friendly with others. tapi tulah, it's you for who you are. terima jelah.

so, yes. as a resolution for this, im going to apply as a volunteer for some charity event here and train myself to be more patient dealing with so many type of people out there. may Allah ease (':

i want to be ironwoman.

nah ni, sapa nak buat test. here's the link.

16personalities

have fun to get to know yourself and others and make the world a better place to live!

good day everyone! (:

x tahu nak letak tajuk apa . *bebelan random*

salam.

nah. bila hati bermasalah, memang la suka cari blog. bukan nak cerita masalah pon, nak merepek ja lebih. sebelum tu nak bagitaw, sekarang ni msuim luruh! my favorite season! sukaa sangatt aaaa!

suka sangat pijak daun kering and dengar bunyi "crunch"

haha. sambung balik, sempat la jugak tadi buang masa 2 3 puluh minit melawat blog kawan2 yang telah lama berkecimpung dalam dunia blogger ni. "geng kental blogger" orang kata. ahahaha~ kenapa kental? sebab haaa, sedar tak sedar dah dekat 6 tahun rasanya dorang, termasuk i lah sekali membesar bersama-sama blog ni. haha

dari zaman budak2 hingusan, ada lagu gedik2 layan perasaan + tulisan glitter alololo cumilnyaa kat blog. stressnya kenapa i macam ni dulu -_-" sampailah sekarang, inilah tumbesaran.

haha. and zaman time i buat blog dulu tu pon, still zaman myspace dgn friendster tgh up, and yes, paling x boleh lupa, time tu lagi dah follow blog "RADIUSITE" alaaa tau tak radiusite jenama tudung tu? haaa, i follow blog dia dari dia mula2 up nak bukak bisnes, jual tudung sehelai rm10 yang boleh beli kat masjid jamek tu, xkawin lagi ownernya ika time tu, sampai la sekarang dah kawin, ada 3 bijik butik area kl, ada anak sorang and tudung pon semua standard rm50 ke atas plus, model dia pon semua artis. maju kan bisnes kak ika ni. inilah rezeki orang kan, dalam masa 5tahun dah jadi kaya raya...alhamdulillah, respectnya kak ika ni, dia mmg sangat pemurah... tengok dia mmg support bisnes orang lain jugak walaupun dalam field yg sama... baguslah, harap banyak lagi orang muda yang berbisnes akan mempunyai cara pemikiran sama ja dgn kak ika dan suaminya, rezeki tu kat tangan Allah, so xdaklah istilah dengki mendengki dalam bab nak berniaga ni.


and semua blog fashionista yg i follow dari dulu, ehem..haha, i memang suka follow mereka yg cantik2 n stylish ni. orang2 yang post gambar oo oo tee dee bagai tu mmg suka sangat, cari ilham and try it myself, yes, because i love fashion. x faham orang yang fanatik islam, kadang2 rigid sangat dok jaja sana sini suruh orang benci fashion, padahal fashion x pernah pon bersalah. fashion is fashion. you create yours. xdak sapa pon kata fashion equal to sexy kan. haihh,xpalah *managing diversity mood*
eh, nak cakap apa tadi? ohh haa, nak cakap yang hampir 90% semua blogger fashionista yang i follow sejak 5 tahun lepas mmg rata2 dah berkahwin dan ada anak. YES. ADA ANAK. jadinya, sekarang timeline blog i banyaakk tips2 mengenai cara menyusukan anak, *scroll timeline* cara pam susu, stroller apa yang terbaik, makan terbaik untuk baby, review pasal shopping baju baby kat mana best, buku terbaik untuk ibu bapa, supplement untuk ibu mengandung dannn sebagainya.*scroll timeline lagi* no more oo oo tee dee bagai, kalau ada pon, gambar ibu nya yang cantik dengan anak mereka masing2 yang memang sumpah comel! tapi ada ja lagi yang belum kawin, but is making a move towards it. so, yg fashionista yang belum kawin ni, ceritanya adalah menghupdate preparation untuk berkahwin. *scrool timeline lagi dan lagi* pasal buku apa untuk persediaan kahwin, baju kahwin tempah kat mana, door gift, diy photobooth la bagai. aiyaiii~


WHY IS THAT EVERYBODY SEEMS LIKE GROWING UP SO FAST?

noooo, im not mad. im happy. i am happy to know that everybody is living happily, making lots of achievements outside there. the thing is, me. i think, there is no difference between me 5 years ago, and me now. bila baca cerita orang lain kan, rasa macam kagumnyaaa, sebab mostly dorang ni sebaya ja dengan i, and even ada yang lagi muda dan dah ada anak. like hey,

YOU MADE THAT BIG DECISION TO GET MARRIED.
TO HAVE BABIES AND RAISE THEM.
TO TAKE A RISK AND OPEN A BUSINESS.
TO PURSUE STUDY IN MASTERS.
TO WORK AND GAIN MONEY.
INVOLVE IN CHARITY WORK.

and much more perkara yang dorang buat and sangat inspiring! sangat okay! young woman with passion mmg sangat admirable taw. taktaw nak cakap macam mana perasaan tu. making a decision is a hard thing for me. duduk kat obersi ni, i hold quite a number of position yang mana, MEMANG kena buat keputusan, kena buat. and it seems to everybody like it was so easy for me. sesuai lah dgn nama i jugak, "fatihin" which means pemberi keputusan. tapi ada satu benda yang orang tak tahu, disebalik memiliki nama yang macam ni, i bukan lah orang yang bagi keputusan secara ringan. maksudnya? MAKSUDNYA BUKAN SEKADAR HANYA BAGI KEPUTUSAN TAPI TAK BUAT.
why? because for me, making decision is a PROMISE! a promise! and i won't break a promise, no matter what. kadang2 x faham macam mana orang yang bagi cadangan itu ini, bila suruh conclude and decide kepada satu keputusan, boleh decide, tapi bila suruh "make it real", berlepas tangan. rasa nak bagi penampar sekali. don't decide if you think you can't do it. BILA DAH DECIDE, SILA BUAT. kalau dari sekarang, time single2 ni, xdak tanggungjawab lagi, dok buat perangai jenis buat keputusan lepas tu main2, cuba fikir nanti, you decide you nak kahwin, and then you jump into those married life, you think marriage is a play game? sebab tu sangat stress co-operating with those who are not serious in handling their jobs. irresponsible okay.
mintak hantar task before dateline dah beritahu seminggu awal, hari dateline baru nak terhegeh-hegeh buat, lepas tu kita marah, sengih-sengih cakap sorry. lepas tu x hantar jugak. what is this? i just need like 10 minutes for you to think and finish the task, bukan kena jawab soalan physics ka. i can do it myself, tapi saja nak bagi jugak kerja for you, because it's your job, not mine. haihh~ i just dont understand. still in *managing diversity mood*.

tapi i memang x boleh nak fahamlah, jenis irresponsible, lambat! kalau lambat yang x menyusahkan orang x apa, you nak lambat untuk you punya assigment yang memang you buat sorang2 xdak kaitan dengan orang lain x apa. tapi, kalau assigment you tu kena share date setiap sorang to the whole group, pastu you dok buat perangai lambat lemah longlai you tu, that is irresponsible! YOU AKAN MENYEBABKAN THE WHOLE GROUP JADI LAMBAT. EVERYBODY HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU! x tahulah. haihh~ kerja2 i yang banyak tertangguh ni, sebab nilah ni.. bukan nak kata i x salah, yes i am like others too, there's time when i become soooooo lazy yet takmaw buat apa pon, bangun lambat terlepas train/bus, lewat ke kelas is fine, tapi i x pernah being lazy for something yg melibatkan orang lain, because yeah, MAKING SOMEONE WAIT FOR ME IS A CRIME. dah kalau lambat tu satu hal, xdak pulak nak contact, sorry lambat, or cakap x boleh buat ke apa ke, diam je. x taw nak manage diversity macam mana kalau hal yang macam ni. bagitaw sikit sapa ada idea? haaa tudia, mood membebel. -_-"

berbalik kepada kisah para fashionista tadi, so mmg sgt inspiring la dorang boleh buat decision and yes making effort selepas dah buat keputusan tadi. xdakla jadi jenis yang berlepas tangan, nak harap orang sediakan semua. tengok ibu2 muda ni search internet and share with others pasal tips2 membesarkan anak semua tu, is a good thing. they are making efforts in raising their kids and enjoying their life at the same time. baguslah..each one of them pon making a different decision, ada yg sambung master and yes, struggling in their studies while raising kids bagai... good thing.

haih, maybe i need to read more books, good books, real good one. yang boleh mematangkan sedikit pemikiran dan mempercepatkan proses tumbesaran. out of six decisions yg dorang ni ada buat, kalau untuk i, erm maybe tiga je kot.


TO GET MARRIED.
TO HAVE BABIES AND RAISE THEM.
TO TAKE A RISK AND OPEN A BUSINESS.
TO PURSUE STUDY IN MASTERS.
TO WORK AND GAIN MONEY.
INVOLVE IN CHARITY WORK.

yang first, is a burden for me. even to think is a burden. xtawla pasal apa. im not ready for commitment i guess. bila mama tanya, bila ada orang tanya, instead of menjadi sesuatu yang happy, ia menjadi sesuatu yang memenatkan. tapi tulah, mama ada cakap, sampai bila nak ada pemikiran macam tu, you have to grow up. i am. my blog is growing up, and my reading is also leveled-up to another stage. i baca ja dorang ni dok tulis segala bagai benda x berkaitan dengan kita lagi. i am growing up. > dasar keras kepala, mulut suka menjawab.

xpalah malas cakap banyak, dah tulis banyak dah pon. haihh~

sambunglah buat report. maybe sebab ni lah kot tumbesaran kematangan terbantut, hari2 tengok report. kali ni bertambah lagi report sebab dah kena buat correction and hantar balik. baiklah sensei, anything you want. pastu kena layan lagi dengan perangai manusia macam2 ragam. yes i know, i am also part of those yang "banyak ragam" jugak. marilah saling menjadi tabah. pandai sangat kannn nak suruh orang manage diversity, kita sendiri pon kena manage la diversity and adapt dengan orang lain jugak. sekian.

hari tu. hari yang mana teiba datang feeling nak jadi renjer hutan. rembat ja baju jenis yg renjer hutan selalu pakai tu, pastu match kan dekat skirt and pinky shirt. kononnya, pinky renjer versi sopan. hipster sangat -_-"  jangan layan dia ni.

LOVE everyone like HOW YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.

tired of wasting my time, trying to put someone very important in my life, but end up with no happing ending. like seriously, im getting depressed about it.

since i've been introduced to tarbiyah, i think i got it very clear on WHY we have to create a good relationship with all muslims. good relationship, i mean a real good one. love each other for the sake of Allah. excepting the varies that Allah purposely created for each one of us.

coz it's written in the Quran. Muslim are nothing but BROTHERS.

after knowing about that, how come some people can be too selfish? counting the blessings and happiness of their own friends, forgetting to appreciate what they get for them self. and yet, comparing their life with others and be sad upon others happiness. 

BE SAD UPON SOMEONE'S HAPPINESS is the biggest selfish act i've ever experienced from someone. it was just totally unfair. and too dramatic.

i am not the type of sensitive-thingy one, but hey, it hurts enough, no im not hurt, im just pissed-off i guess, well everybody will, if someone judge our love based on materials.

and then i realized that, it was not love. maybe it was, for some time, but it no longer. so i shouldn't be pissed-off over it. because someone who love each other for the sake of Allah won't feel like that. i don't know. maybe i was wrong, but it was just too disturbing and i want to remove this uneasy feeling right away, and it will be this way, blogged about it. d:

i won't even care to bother anymore. because i did think of some solutions for it, and end up with nothing. coz i just couldn't go to sleep and wake up the next morning like nothing happen. like hey, do you think human feeling is a game station? say this and that, and then "ehhey,it's nothing"

well, ignorance is a bliss. i did my part, and it's time to move on. i have no time for selfish people. i've come to realize that maybe i only need to be close friend with those who need me in theirs even when i have nothing else to offer.

give more and expect less. because it's through GIVING we RECEIVE. think that people don't really care about you? obviously, that's because you are less in giving. how can you expect people to love you very much when you don't even love people wholeheartedly? now that's selfish! i think i did told you about this before. nak orang sayang kita, kita pon kena usaha la untuk sayang orang.

mama always told me, give the love to everyone, so that you'll gain more. not good in expressing love? well, there are thousand of ways in expressing love. not only by saying, but also by helping others, by smiling, and by appreciating what someone else do for you. and mama jugak la yg selalu pesan, if you want someone to love YOU, YOU start it first. sebab tu la mama, since i was young, showered me with love words, nak p sekolah, lepas salam n kiss akan cakap i love you, and before go to bed, and now even im in japan, separated like thousand miles from family, not even a single time mama ended the skype without sayng "I LOVE YOU". (':

now, let's reflect this to our self, how much you ever said 'i love you' to someone else that you even dare to act sooo selfish asking people to love you? well this applies to me too, of course.

so yeah, LOVE everyone like HOW YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.