i totally have no idea why am i writing this entry. but the writing mood came soon after some of my friends were talking about "car, car". KERETA. phew.
one of the things that i have to struggle and still become my big, major obstacle until now is, ahhhhhhhh, to get a driving license here. yes here,in japan. in sendai, to be exact.
uhh! i have, one of my friend who said something when i was frustrated to death when i failed for the erm 10th time. it was during ramadhan and that was my last test.
back from the license center, with a sleepy, crying face, (because i took the 9th time driving test the day before, and i did cry a lot that night), i went to a shopping complex, LOFT, and was browsing around just to calm myself. i was at LUSH, one of my favorite cosmetic shop, when she gave me a call. eh wait, why i have to tell specifically where i am at that time? -_-"
ahhh. maybe bcoz i remember clearly what had happened on that day. that day. Sigh~ nampak tak betapaa menusuknya kejadian tersebut dalam hati. -.-
she asked me how was it and i told her i failed for the 10th time, and that i don't want to take the driving test anymore. i was really not in a stable mood and almost shouted at her. can you imagine how frustrated i am at that moment? with all the money and time i spent for the driving test! ahhhhhh! you know, THE PAIN. THE PAIN. it really hurts.
and she let me cry. and i did. it was such a relief to have someone err usually people would say that a shoulder to cry on, but in my situation it was a phone call to cry on. haha. padahal basically meaning yg nak disampaikan adalah sama. maaflah saya pemusnah bahasa XD
back to the story. After i cried, and with all the complaint i've made, biasalah kann, nangis2 jugak, mulut nyot nyet nyot nyet dok komplain this and that, pakcik jpj tu pembuli la, pakcik tu cerewet laa.
she simply asked me,
"for whose sake you are doing it for?"
i was like, haaaa??? kena ada sebab ke?
basically, mestila utk diri sendiri. ini dah kali ke sepuluh kott.
i am desperately in need of a license so that i can ride my scooter to school.
rasa nakk marah2, tanya lagi sebab apa. haa -.-"
and she continued with,
"maybe you don't really need the license for now. because Allah knows the best. and He haven't let you to drive a car or scooter, maybe because you are still not ready"
"and He wants to teach you not to rely to anybody, not even to the sensei who tested you, He wants you to rely on Him, only Him"
and we end our conversation.
yeah maybe, maybe, i put too much hope on sensei. and i forgot to pray. i rely too much on other people, hoping they will let me pass the test. i forgot that after all, it's Allah's will that count. and i keep her word until now.
thank you for everything you said. it did calm me a lot.
and that moment i realized that i also did put too much hope at the license. i mean like, kalau x dapat lesen tu, xleh hidup. padahal i ada ja option, i boleh naik bas g sekolah, tapi i x nak try. itulah masalahnya, seribu satu alasan!
tapi i naik la jugak. TERPAKSA KHANN~ paksa paksa, lama lama jadi sukaaa.
i took the bus everyday since last semester, siap ada free pass laaa bagai, kadang2 naik bas kosong rasa macam anak raja, kadang2 ramai sgt rasa macam dalam sushi tuna yg digulung padat bersama mayonis, but i have no problem with it, alhamdulillah. even it took almost an hour to reach my campus. kadang2 terlewat la jugak 2 3 puluh minit. hehe. d:
and i promised myself not to take the driving test until i throw away the desperate feeling. "needy" feeling is fine, but desperate is not good. seriously. bcoz it will make you panic like crazy. Pastu bila x dapat apa yg kita nak, kecewa sampaii xmenahan, hati tersangattt hancur lumat berkecai bersepai-sepai. maaf, hiperbola sangat.
so now, im in a third year. And it is almost a year since i first took the driving test. and i don't feel like going to school by scooter pon, in fact, scooter tu pon dah almost 6 months x gerak, it just that, i feel the need to drive in japan. but, what makes me feel that? let just make it remains as a secret. haha. misteri gitu. d;
to be honest, i don't really like driving. and i'm not good at it. rasanyaa semua orang taw kot, im not good at driving. Time drive xdak orang sapa kacau, sorang2 i boleh p langgaq tiang. bukan langgaq belakang time reverse ka apa, tapi langgaq sisi, kona x lepas. and there's one time, i nak masuk parking, ada laa dalam sepuluh kali jugak i drive keluaq masuk petak parking tu utk masukkan kereta properly dalam petak tu sampaikan ada 2-3 org pakcik jepun ni ternganga tengok. so this is nur fatihin. i bawak kereta cermat ja, slow, x laju pon, cuma i seriusss x pandai nak bajet saiz kereta tu. T_T
but, in this life there is a line between, what you love to do, and what you MUST DO.
hurm. it's all about responsibility laa. kalau dah antara calon2 nya yg mmg sikit pastu kauu antara yg legally boleh and capable untuk ambik driving test tu, kalau dok deny lagi tak mau tak mau, mmg hurm, well, what can i say, being irresponsible lah.
so, woahhh panjangnyaaa tulis, haha,
so what i want to say is, i am ready to take the challenge again, inshaAllah. Oh i mean, the driving test. yaayyy!! so im going to take it next week.
haha. Perlu keeeee entry panjang2 just nak kecoh kat satu dunia cakap nak ambik driving testttttt setelah failed 10 kaliiiii. kau dah kenapaa fin.
and i hope that you guys, who is reading this, yeah you, please pray for me. thank youu.
semoga dengan izin Allah, keredhaan Allah, usaha saya, doa saya dan anda semua, akan mempermudahkan lagi urusan ini. ganbarimasu! (':
p/s : abah pernah tanya kereta macam mana yang i suka, i jawab myvi. *dengan penuh yakin* sangattt pencinta barang tempatan okay. hahaha. kononnya d:
tapi muka abah lepas i jawab tu macam, "lol, nak pakai myvi ja". ahahaha~ muka boleh berkata-kata gitu.
but, seriously, if i were to buy a car, i will go for myvi or yang macam myvi. ouh, honda fit pon okay jugak actually d:
sbb ia kecik, and comel, and diyakini i boleh masuk petak parking dengan senang, dan boleh kona dengan selamat tanpa mencium mana2 tiang.
and pity my future husband, he has to do a serious job taking care of his car, and my car too, because i seriously know nothing about car. zero. isi minyak pon suruh adik buat. untunglah ada dua adik lelaki. (:
myvi pink idaman hati