Thursday, April 17, 2014

hello final year! (':

salam wbt. 

alhamdulillah, dah jejak kaki masuk final year. yes! final year kan. kelas pon ada 3 ketul je, tu pon xde exam, semua presentation. so sejak beberapa hari ni seharian duduk lab, baca research paper sampai bosan. nak souji(sapu sampah) pon senior tak bagi, dia suruh p study or sembang2 sesama labmate or tengok ja apa orang lain buat. mcm la baru masuk lab semalam, dah setahun dah, but still they are treating me like freshie =.=

penat dgn keadaan yg, "nak kena buat apa ni?" i got the courage masuk bilik sensei n tanya, 

[me] "sensei, forth year sem 7 ni selalu kena buat apa?"

[sensei] "Haa fin. dah jelas dgn masa depan kamu nak buat apa?"

[me] "Dah. Nak balik malaysia" *keyakinan padu*

[sensei] "Balik lepas tu nak buat apa?" 

[me] "Kerja ke sambung belajar ke. nanti dah sampai malaysia nanti saya fikir"

[sensei] "Apa? saya x pernah dgr jawapan mcm ni. orang2 malaysia mmg mcm ni ke? senpai2 malaysia awak tahun lepas semua buat apa skrg?"

[me] "Ada yang dah kerja. ada yg balik malaysia dulu baru cari kerja. tapi biasa kat malaysia dah graduate baru org cari kerja"

[sensei] "ha? saya xkan biarkan student2 saya balik tanpa ada masa depan yg jelas. sem 7 ni sepatutnya KENA BELAJAR UTK AMBIK EXAM MASTER atau CARI KERJA. dua tu saja. jadi pilih. Samada awak nak sambung belajar kat tempat lain, pergi cari university mana yg nak terima awak n cerita dekat saya syarat2 kemasukan, bila exam semua tu. kalau tak, awak kena cari kerja, saya x peduli. haritu attend tak taklimat cari kerja?"

[me] "err,tak" *panic mood*

[sensei] "mcm mana awak boleh tenang mcm ni? awak x tanya ke perancangan kawan2 sekelas awak?"

[me] "tanya. kawan2 semua nak sambung." 

Sensei mengeluh dan tulis something dekat komputer n print, sign lepas tu bagi.

[sensei] "haa. org lain semua dah nampak jelas nak buat apa. awak ni ja terkontang kanting. awak tau tak kalau application mintak kerja melalui tohoku university dah tutup hujung bulan 3 haritu? Ni surat rujukan utk kaunseling. ni alamat office n no phone si A. awak p jumpak encik A ni cakap awak nak cari kerja dgn syarikat jepun yg ada kat malaysia, nanti dia explain dekat awak. tapi mintak maaf dulu dekat dia sbb dah lepas dateline. "

[me] *ambik kertas* "okay"

[sensei] "so tugas awak utk sem 7 ni yg pertama adalah untuk p kaunseling n BETULKAN PEMIKIRAN AWAK TU DULU. lepas dah clear, pilih and stick to the plan. tapi saya warning siap2 ni, saya x suka planning yg separuh jalan. Faham ke?" 

[me] "haittttt". T_T 

balik rumah dengan 1001 rasa. haaa~ first time diasak soalan bertubi-tubi. rasa sedih sangat. alaa, bukannya x serius pasal masa depan, but i was not born to be an engineer. jangan tanya kenapa (T_T)

i was born to be a princess perhaps. hihi XD 

in dream. haha. 

okay, okay serious. i am now actually, you know, kind of forcing myself to put some effort in looking for a job. with the help of my professor of course. but, not to worry, it's not like i hate the profession as an engineer. i have a concrete reason why i dont really prefer to work as an engineer for now. but, i'll give it a try insyaAllah, because why not? after few weeks of serious thinking, search and seek for advice session, i concluded it as a win-win situation. i'll find a job, and if i get one, i'll give it all my best. i'll get experience, and you get my passion. fair enough? but if i dont get one, i'll stay at home. hihi d: oh no, i should have a plan B. 

so many things need to be decided during this final year. i guess we can call it as "decision making year". big decision. BIG.

may Allah ease everything to all of us. 

p/s : dont forget to istikharah before making any decision. you wouldn't know if the thing you decide is the best for you, but HE knows. ^^

Saturday, December 21, 2013

my winter story

salam wbt.

my favorite season - winter is coming!! yeahhh!! actually all seasons are my favorite season, so please, bear with me, coz im gonna say "my favorite season to all seasons". XD

snow already fall last week, and stop suddenly, don't ask me why. it has been a rainy day this last few days, and i am now in the second day of my winter break! HOLIDAYYY!

i hope my body condition can behave well this year. coz i couldn't enjoy last year 's winter due to high fever and was nearly been told to be admitted to the hospital. phew, because that time i was away about 600 kilometers from my sweet home in sendai. and i was so depressed and really desperate to cool down the fever in less than 2 days, so that i can go back to sendai. ouh i don't want to remember that. high fever is just tooo scary.

coz i've experienced the worst. the first time i went home, in february 2012, the temperature in japan was around 0 degree celcius, and when i touched down in malaysia, it was about 30degree or something, it was toooo much differences. i got headache, caught flu and sore throat, and my body became very weak, 3 times mama brought me to the medical center and nothing got any better. and i fainted, my body temperature raised to 40degree that time, then i was admitted to kedah medical center. 6 days in the hospital! it was a horrible moment. i couldn't eat any medicine anymore, and was really weak to even speak or eat. T_T after 6 days, i asked permission from dr.razman(the doctor who incharge of me) to let me to go home, coz i wanna catch my flight the day after tomorrow, but he didn't allow me to do so. being a stubborn like always, i told mama that "i wanna go back to japan", and finally dr razman gave up upon my determination. -_-"

after discharged, mama brought me to the shopping complex for a while to buy stuffs for me to bring back to japan, and yeah, i fainted again. and that time, i was thinking like im gonna die. and i cried after that and also blaming myself for not listening to dr. razman's advice. but somehow, the day after that, i felt much better and managed to catch the flight and safely arrived in japan. of course with the help of my friends, "cool fever", "koyok", and soooo many medicines. haha.

so, now, today, it's going to be my third winter in japan. and im still working hard to make sure that i can survive this year's winter in a good health. already caught flu and sore throat last saturday, and it has been like 8 days now, i don't know when it's going to get better, already went to the hospital, but i did feel much better than last saturday alhamdulillah, so insyaAllah soon.

since i don't have any memory about last year's winter, im really looking forward for this year 's!!
imma so excited to play with the snow!! yeahhhhhh!!!!

this is the memory on 2011. the first time in my life i touched and felt the snow, it was really soft and fluffy and white, and creamy, and pure and clean and ahhhhhhh I LOVE IT! couldn't help it. i played with the snow very much as if nobody's around and all the snow was mine. despite my attire which was not-very-suitable, i wore a long cotton dress actually, and yeah just look what happened, i threw myself into the snow, and got all wet after done playing. haha! it was really fun! huwaaaaa!!

ignore the childish act. i was just too excited. 

this year im gonna play snowboard too! like in 2011! it is a hard and extreme sport, but it's fun!
pray that nobody's gonna get injured this year. and after this winter break, we're gonna get serious with all the exams and reports. PROMISE! heee~ (:

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

the personality

salam wbt.

did a personality test last week and got the result which says i belong to ESTJs group.

and when i was reading about the descriptions of ESTJs, which is undeniably true, my eyes caught at this sentences and...

ESTJs are usually strong-willed and not afraid to voice and defend their opinions, even if they are facing a formidable opposition. If, for instance, one of their subordinates is incompetent or simply lazy, the ESTJ will not hesitate to show their wrath. ESTJ personalities will stick to their principles, even if everybody turns against them.


yes, i need to work harder on this. i mean, TO BE MORE PATIENT.
bukanla dengan orang bawahan ke apa, i mean towards people who are working with me, or living with me. i think, no, not think, i definitely know that i am being so harsh towards so many people. quite strict i guess.

exactly macam description tu, haritu sedap ja i pergi marah "labmate" i sorang yg duduk sebelah meja for being so lazy. meja bersepahhh sampai ke meja i dengan mugnya x basuh dengann ahhh stress. and we have like a typical women fight > x bercakap dekat sebulan, and sekarang i dah pindah ke meja lain sebab sensei suruh. great.

and i did another thing, pergi sound partner group sebab hantar task lambat and menyebabkan the whole group lambat hantar assigment.

phew. i just, i don't know. bukannya jenis yang panas baran pon, tapi jenis yang "kena cakap". "kena cakap" tu x terhad kepada teguran sahaja, but also untuk support and of course appreciation. bila orang perlukan support, suarakan sokongan kita, bila orang buat benda baik, or tolong kita, say thank you etc. and bila ada orang buat salah, kita tegur dgn teguran yg membina. and it is vice versa. you are free to advise me too when i did any mistake. macam mama selalu tegur i, even i am her daughter, and i dok komplen pasal someone being like this like that, bila mama nampak i yg salah, and she will advise me, xdak pon nak support jugak bila salah. and that is love. kalau sayang, bila nampak salah, kita tegur.

no, i x marah pon sampai tengking2 baling kerusi ke apa. it was just that, when i say something untuk bagi teguran, i said it clearly and directly. and maybe sebab tu la, i also did put a fight with so many people.

haih x faham. i suka settle benda at that point at that moment kalau x puas hati ke apa, x suka simpan2, and definitely x suka cakap kat belakang coz it won't gain any profit.

kalau orang mintak bagi pendapat dan pandangan pulak, i'll give it secara jujur dan sepenuh hati, walaupun maybe ada yg terasa hati. sebab kita x boleh puaskan hati semua pihak. and lagipun ianya hanya pandangan, nak reject pon silakan.

so, i mmg sgt confuse. like some people said that, kita kena bersabar, sabar banyak2. like heyyy, sabar is one part, tegur is also another part. kita mmg sabar, tapi kita tegur. kita tegur bukan bermaksud kita tak sabar. kita tegur for improvement. like seriously, i am not the type yang akan diammm je, pasraaaaah je bila nampak atau terjadi benda2 yg x betul. like heyy, kalau i x tegur you pasal you hantar task lambat tu, and you will thing it's okay to be late sebab ahli lain semua was like "aaa it's okay, it's okay", then lepas ni buat lagi. oh my God, i won't let that happen!

haih,  that is why i said, i need to be more patient and tolerable i guess. i seriously have to. sebab bila baca pasal different type of personalities, well there are also people who dont really care about time, about responsibility..each personality have their own cons and they didnt ask to be that way.
me didn't ask being me either. i wish i could become more loving and caring plus more friendly with others. tapi tulah, it's you for who you are. terima jelah.

so, yes. as a resolution for this, im going to apply as a volunteer for some charity event here and train myself to be more patient dealing with so many type of people out there. may Allah ease (':

i want to be ironwoman.

nah ni, sapa nak buat test. here's the link.


have fun to get to know yourself and others and make the world a better place to live!

good day everyone! (:

Saturday, November 23, 2013

x tahu nak letak tajuk apa . *bebelan random*


nah. bila hati bermasalah, memang la suka cari blog. bukan nak cerita masalah pon, nak merepek ja lebih. sebelum tu nak bagitaw, sekarang ni msuim luruh! my favorite season! sukaa sangatt aaaa!

suka sangat pijak daun kering and dengar bunyi "crunch"

haha. sambung balik, sempat la jugak tadi buang masa 2 3 puluh minit melawat blog kawan2 yang telah lama berkecimpung dalam dunia blogger ni. "geng kental blogger" orang kata. ahahaha~ kenapa kental? sebab haaa, sedar tak sedar dah dekat 6 tahun rasanya dorang, termasuk i lah sekali membesar bersama-sama blog ni. haha

dari zaman budak2 hingusan, ada lagu gedik2 layan perasaan + tulisan glitter alololo cumilnyaa kat blog. stressnya kenapa i macam ni dulu -_-" sampailah sekarang, inilah tumbesaran.

haha. and zaman time i buat blog dulu tu pon, still zaman myspace dgn friendster tgh up, and yes, paling x boleh lupa, time tu lagi dah follow blog "RADIUSITE" alaaa tau tak radiusite jenama tudung tu? haaa, i follow blog dia dari dia mula2 up nak bukak bisnes, jual tudung sehelai rm10 yang boleh beli kat masjid jamek tu, xkawin lagi ownernya ika time tu, sampai la sekarang dah kawin, ada 3 bijik butik area kl, ada anak sorang and tudung pon semua standard rm50 ke atas plus, model dia pon semua artis. maju kan bisnes kak ika ni. inilah rezeki orang kan, dalam masa 5tahun dah jadi kaya raya...alhamdulillah, respectnya kak ika ni, dia mmg sangat pemurah... tengok dia mmg support bisnes orang lain jugak walaupun dalam field yg sama... baguslah, harap banyak lagi orang muda yang berbisnes akan mempunyai cara pemikiran sama ja dgn kak ika dan suaminya, rezeki tu kat tangan Allah, so xdaklah istilah dengki mendengki dalam bab nak berniaga ni.

and semua blog fashionista yg i follow dari dulu, ehem..haha, i memang suka follow mereka yg cantik2 n stylish ni. orang2 yang post gambar oo oo tee dee bagai tu mmg suka sangat, cari ilham and try it myself, yes, because i love fashion. x faham orang yang fanatik islam, kadang2 rigid sangat dok jaja sana sini suruh orang benci fashion, padahal fashion x pernah pon bersalah. fashion is fashion. you create yours. xdak sapa pon kata fashion equal to sexy kan. haihh,xpalah *managing diversity mood*
eh, nak cakap apa tadi? ohh haa, nak cakap yang hampir 90% semua blogger fashionista yang i follow sejak 5 tahun lepas mmg rata2 dah berkahwin dan ada anak. YES. ADA ANAK. jadinya, sekarang timeline blog i banyaakk tips2 mengenai cara menyusukan anak, *scroll timeline* cara pam susu, stroller apa yang terbaik, makan terbaik untuk baby, review pasal shopping baju baby kat mana best, buku terbaik untuk ibu bapa, supplement untuk ibu mengandung dannn sebagainya.*scroll timeline lagi* no more oo oo tee dee bagai, kalau ada pon, gambar ibu nya yang cantik dengan anak mereka masing2 yang memang sumpah comel! tapi ada ja lagi yang belum kawin, but is making a move towards it. so, yg fashionista yang belum kawin ni, ceritanya adalah menghupdate preparation untuk berkahwin. *scrool timeline lagi dan lagi* pasal buku apa untuk persediaan kahwin, baju kahwin tempah kat mana, door gift, diy photobooth la bagai. aiyaiii~


noooo, im not mad. im happy. i am happy to know that everybody is living happily, making lots of achievements outside there. the thing is, me. i think, there is no difference between me 5 years ago, and me now. bila baca cerita orang lain kan, rasa macam kagumnyaaa, sebab mostly dorang ni sebaya ja dengan i, and even ada yang lagi muda dan dah ada anak. like hey,


and much more perkara yang dorang buat and sangat inspiring! sangat okay! young woman with passion mmg sangat admirable taw. taktaw nak cakap macam mana perasaan tu. making a decision is a hard thing for me. duduk kat obersi ni, i hold quite a number of position yang mana, MEMANG kena buat keputusan, kena buat. and it seems to everybody like it was so easy for me. sesuai lah dgn nama i jugak, "fatihin" which means pemberi keputusan. tapi ada satu benda yang orang tak tahu, disebalik memiliki nama yang macam ni, i bukan lah orang yang bagi keputusan secara ringan. maksudnya? MAKSUDNYA BUKAN SEKADAR HANYA BAGI KEPUTUSAN TAPI TAK BUAT.
why? because for me, making decision is a PROMISE! a promise! and i won't break a promise, no matter what. kadang2 x faham macam mana orang yang bagi cadangan itu ini, bila suruh conclude and decide kepada satu keputusan, boleh decide, tapi bila suruh "make it real", berlepas tangan. rasa nak bagi penampar sekali. don't decide if you think you can't do it. BILA DAH DECIDE, SILA BUAT. kalau dari sekarang, time single2 ni, xdak tanggungjawab lagi, dok buat perangai jenis buat keputusan lepas tu main2, cuba fikir nanti, you decide you nak kahwin, and then you jump into those married life, you think marriage is a play game? sebab tu sangat stress co-operating with those who are not serious in handling their jobs. irresponsible okay.
mintak hantar task before dateline dah beritahu seminggu awal, hari dateline baru nak terhegeh-hegeh buat, lepas tu kita marah, sengih-sengih cakap sorry. lepas tu x hantar jugak. what is this? i just need like 10 minutes for you to think and finish the task, bukan kena jawab soalan physics ka. i can do it myself, tapi saja nak bagi jugak kerja for you, because it's your job, not mine. haihh~ i just dont understand. still in *managing diversity mood*.

tapi i memang x boleh nak fahamlah, jenis irresponsible, lambat! kalau lambat yang x menyusahkan orang x apa, you nak lambat untuk you punya assigment yang memang you buat sorang2 xdak kaitan dengan orang lain x apa. tapi, kalau assigment you tu kena share date setiap sorang to the whole group, pastu you dok buat perangai lambat lemah longlai you tu, that is irresponsible! YOU AKAN MENYEBABKAN THE WHOLE GROUP JADI LAMBAT. EVERYBODY HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU! x tahulah. haihh~ kerja2 i yang banyak tertangguh ni, sebab nilah ni.. bukan nak kata i x salah, yes i am like others too, there's time when i become soooooo lazy yet takmaw buat apa pon, bangun lambat terlepas train/bus, lewat ke kelas is fine, tapi i x pernah being lazy for something yg melibatkan orang lain, because yeah, MAKING SOMEONE WAIT FOR ME IS A CRIME. dah kalau lambat tu satu hal, xdak pulak nak contact, sorry lambat, or cakap x boleh buat ke apa ke, diam je. x taw nak manage diversity macam mana kalau hal yang macam ni. bagitaw sikit sapa ada idea? haaa tudia, mood membebel. -_-"

berbalik kepada kisah para fashionista tadi, so mmg sgt inspiring la dorang boleh buat decision and yes making effort selepas dah buat keputusan tadi. xdakla jadi jenis yang berlepas tangan, nak harap orang sediakan semua. tengok ibu2 muda ni search internet and share with others pasal tips2 membesarkan anak semua tu, is a good thing. they are making efforts in raising their kids and enjoying their life at the same time. baguslah..each one of them pon making a different decision, ada yg sambung master and yes, struggling in their studies while raising kids bagai... good thing.

haih, maybe i need to read more books, good books, real good one. yang boleh mematangkan sedikit pemikiran dan mempercepatkan proses tumbesaran. out of six decisions yg dorang ni ada buat, kalau untuk i, erm maybe tiga je kot.


yang first, is a burden for me. even to think is a burden. xtawla pasal apa. im not ready for commitment i guess. bila mama tanya, bila ada orang tanya, instead of menjadi sesuatu yang happy, ia menjadi sesuatu yang memenatkan. tapi tulah, mama ada cakap, sampai bila nak ada pemikiran macam tu, you have to grow up. i am. my blog is growing up, and my reading is also leveled-up to another stage. i baca ja dorang ni dok tulis segala bagai benda x berkaitan dengan kita lagi. i am growing up. > dasar keras kepala, mulut suka menjawab.

xpalah malas cakap banyak, dah tulis banyak dah pon. haihh~

sambunglah buat report. maybe sebab ni lah kot tumbesaran kematangan terbantut, hari2 tengok report. kali ni bertambah lagi report sebab dah kena buat correction and hantar balik. baiklah sensei, anything you want. pastu kena layan lagi dengan perangai manusia macam2 ragam. yes i know, i am also part of those yang "banyak ragam" jugak. marilah saling menjadi tabah. pandai sangat kannn nak suruh orang manage diversity, kita sendiri pon kena manage la diversity and adapt dengan orang lain jugak. sekian.

hari tu. hari yang mana teiba datang feeling nak jadi renjer hutan. rembat ja baju jenis yg renjer hutan selalu pakai tu, pastu match kan dekat skirt and pinky shirt. kononnya, pinky renjer versi sopan. hipster sangat -_-"  jangan layan dia ni.

Friday, November 15, 2013


tired of wasting my time, trying to put someone very important in my life, but end up with no happing ending. like seriously, im getting depressed about it.

since i've been introduced to tarbiyah, i think i got it very clear on WHY we have to create a good relationship with all muslims. good relationship, i mean a real good one. love each other for the sake of Allah. excepting the varies that Allah purposely created for each one of us.

coz it's written in the Quran. Muslim are nothing but BROTHERS.

after knowing about that, how come some people can be too selfish? counting the blessings and happiness of their own friends, forgetting to appreciate what they get for them self. and yet, comparing their life with others and be sad upon others happiness. 

BE SAD UPON SOMEONE'S HAPPINESS is the biggest selfish act i've ever experienced from someone. it was just totally unfair. and too dramatic.

i am not the type of sensitive-thingy one, but hey, it hurts enough, no im not hurt, im just pissed-off i guess, well everybody will, if someone judge our love based on materials.

and then i realized that, it was not love. maybe it was, for some time, but it no longer. so i shouldn't be pissed-off over it. because someone who love each other for the sake of Allah won't feel like that. i don't know. maybe i was wrong, but it was just too disturbing and i want to remove this uneasy feeling right away, and it will be this way, blogged about it. d:

i won't even care to bother anymore. because i did think of some solutions for it, and end up with nothing. coz i just couldn't go to sleep and wake up the next morning like nothing happen. like hey, do you think human feeling is a game station? say this and that, and then "ehhey,it's nothing"

well, ignorance is a bliss. i did my part, and it's time to move on. i have no time for selfish people. i've come to realize that maybe i only need to be close friend with those who need me in theirs even when i have nothing else to offer.

give more and expect less. because it's through GIVING we RECEIVE. think that people don't really care about you? obviously, that's because you are less in giving. how can you expect people to love you very much when you don't even love people wholeheartedly? now that's selfish! i think i did told you about this before. nak orang sayang kita, kita pon kena usaha la untuk sayang orang.

mama always told me, give the love to everyone, so that you'll gain more. not good in expressing love? well, there are thousand of ways in expressing love. not only by saying, but also by helping others, by smiling, and by appreciating what someone else do for you. and mama jugak la yg selalu pesan, if you want someone to love YOU, YOU start it first. sebab tu la mama, since i was young, showered me with love words, nak p sekolah, lepas salam n kiss akan cakap i love you, and before go to bed, and now even im in japan, separated like thousand miles from family, not even a single time mama ended the skype without sayng "I LOVE YOU". (':

now, let's reflect this to our self, how much you ever said 'i love you' to someone else that you even dare to act sooo selfish asking people to love you? well this applies to me too, of course.

so yeah, LOVE everyone like HOW YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.

Monday, October 28, 2013

miracles do happen, we just have to believe it (':

assalamualaikum wbt.

harini, ada satu perkara menarik telah berlaku kepada saya. haha. cerita pasal saya lagi. yes, when you came to this blog, it's going to be all about ME. d:

alhamdullilah. alhamdulillah. segala puji bagi Allah untuk kesenangan semalam, hari ini dan hari2 seterusnya. ^^

sebenarnya nak cerita, yang sejak minggu2 lepas, weekends saya memang sgt terisi dengan macam2 aktiviti yang best, cool dan menenangkan! pergi tokyolah, pergi iwatelah. minggu lepas saya cancel semua part-time job, nak rest kononnya sebab weekend x sempat rest, dengan keadaan kesihatan yang aiyoo masih bergantung dekat ubat. sejuk okay. hari2 balik sekolah rasa pening. kalau x makan ubat, xboleh nak buat kerja malam tu. sementara nak masuk winter, badan x biasa lagi. padahal dah 3 tahun duduk jepun. mmg sangat badan orang malaysia, rindu kat tanah air la tuuu :D

weekend baru2 ni pon keluar sendai lagi. ingat nak settle kan lab report hari jumaat malam, tapi lepas majlis yasin ada pulak usrah ganti, mmg xdak rezeki, habis usrah dah lewat, terus tido. ngantok sangat. jumaat kan, biasanya jumaat hari paling letih sebab keletihan selama satu minggu ditakung and dibawa ke hari jumaat. haha. sastera sangat ayat d:

memandangkan dateline untuk lab report last week adalah hari ini, which is before pukul 5 petang tadi, saya pon gigih laa buat report dalam kereta on the way ke tempat destinasi, pada pagi hari sabtu. on the way balik dari tempat event, dah hari ahad, sebab jadi co-pilot, teman driver bawak kereta so x tido la sepanjang perjalanan and dalam kepala dok fikir, how im going to finish my report yang sedebuk banyak tu. sampai rumah dah pukul 8 malam. waktu tu report dah siap sampai result. so, masih ada result evaluation, discussion and few questions yang belum habis buat.

settle kemas diri, and buat air panas, minum. tapi x sampai 30minit dah x boleh tahan mata. memang rasa serba salah, sbb kalau tak settle malam tu, esok tu mmg x sempat sbb kelas dari first period. tapi memandangkan sakit kepala, terus masuk dalam selimut and tido.

bangun pagi, sebab makan ubat, mmg berat sangat nak bangun. and as expected, mmg x sempat la nak settle kan lab report pagi tadi. dalam dok berkira-kira nak ponteng kelas first and second period, sbb lab report ni kalau x hantar satu pon, mmg kena repeat year, and petang pulak saya ada meeting lab 2.30petang-5.00petang. so, nak xnak, masa untuk hantar report hanyalah between pukul 12tghari - 2.30petang. walaupun ada perasaan nak ponteng, tapi saya rasa, responsibility utk pergi kelas tu lebih berat. rasa hilang hormat kat diri sendiri, macam you are talking about time management to others but you can't even manage your own self. salah sendiri la sebab kenapa x siapkan report tu awal2 lagi kan. T_T

so saya pon bangun jugak and bersiap, and after took my breakfast, angkut sekali laptop, sbb nak habiskan report time sensei mengajar kononnya. tapi, tulah, xdak rezeki jugak nak buat sebab saya rasa bersalah sgt. sbb kalau bukak laptop, obviously la kita akan fokus dekat report kita and x dengar langsung apa sensei cakap kat depan. makanya, saya duduk dalam kelas first and second period, sambil meyakinkan diri yg saya akan dapat habiskan report tu nanti dalam masa 2 jam setengah dari pukul 12tghari - 2.30petang, insyaAllah.

maka after pukul 12, saya terus lari pergi library and settlekan report. alhamdulillah less than 2 hours saya berjaya siapkan semua, and pergi jumpa sensei untuk hantar report and interview pasal experiment tu. sensei ambik report saya and baca satu2, dari result sampai discussion and soalan2, dekat 30 minit jugak la and saya mmg sumpah sangat nervous, and saya dah lewat utk pergi meeting lab waktu tu.

pastu sensei punya respon lepas baca report saya adalah,
[言いたいことなし]. "benda nak cakap x ada".

saya ingatkan saya punya report sangat teruk, maksudnya xdak concrete answer, atau apa yang saya nak sampaikan tu x jelas la dalam report tu. saya pon mintak maaf, tapi tetiba sensei cakap.

[いや、完璧です。すごい完璧で、言うことないです。] "eh tak, perfect. sangat perfect sampai xdak benda nak komen."

and sensei sambung, sensei kata sebab interview ni wajib buat, so dia nak tanya beberapa soalan.
sensei tanya saya dua soalan, and macam biasa, interview lab report semuanya akan saya jawab dengan lukisan atau equation, sebab bahasa jepun kann, dengan vocabulary jepun saya yang terhad ni, possibility utk menyebabkan orang pening adalah sangat tinggi. haha. and alhamdulillah, sensei sangat puas hati dengan jawapan saya. and saya pon cakap la terima kasih and dah galas beg cepat2 nak keluar bilik sensei, nak pergi attend meeting lab.

tapi, x sempat berdiri sensei cakap,  [待って。] "tunggu"

"honestly lah kan, rasanya dalam banyak2 student yang hantar report ni, fin punya report discussion and jawapan and idea untuk soalan2 yang ditanya, adalah yang paling excellent among semua. x sangka yang ada orang boleh came up dengan discussion report yang sangat hebat macam ni"

dan saya diam ja. sbb, i dont even know how to respond. cuma dalam hati mmg terasa sangat aaaaa sangat terkejut dengan apa yang sensei cakap. terus terbayang apa yang saya dok merepek jawab soalan and bagi pendapat dalam report tadi. sebab dalam masa 2 jam dekat library tadi, xdela buat apa sgt pon, saya banyak membaca, and google dekat internet as a revision utk tulis kat report and preparation untuk interview. x dapat nak guna senior punya lab-report last year even tema sama sebab saya punya experiment procedure and material berbeza.

sensei tengok saya diam, sensei gelak je and cakap
[それが言いたかったです。はい、お疲れ様。] "dari tadi saya nak cakap tu. hait, thank you for your hard work".

lepas cakap terima kasih banyak2, saya pon terus lari pergi lab saya memandangkan lab saya agak jauh dari building tu. sambil nervous sebab dah lewat, lari2 ke lab, tetiba air mata saya mengalir. (saya mmg cepat menitiskan air mata okay, maaflah. haha d:) entah lah sebab apa, terharu maybe. x pernah dapat pujian yang macam tu. entahlah. tapi bagi saya, ayat2 pujian ni sememangnya ada satu kuasa yang super duper kuat yang mempengaruhi emosi dan minda. sebab tula Dr Muhaya selalu cakap kan, kalau nampak apa2 je kebaikan and even sekecil-kecil perkara2 baik yang orang lain buat, ringankan mulut untuk memberi pujian. hati orang jadi senang, hati kita pon jadi senang, insyaAllah (:

dah pukul 3, saya sampai lab. nak naik lif, saya terserempak dengan sensei lab. terkejut. tapi macam biasa, sensei senyum ja. dalam hati saya dok cakap, oh sensei pon lambat utk meeting ni rupanya.

habis je meeting lab tadi, sensei datang dekat saya and cakap, "saya dah dapat result exam awak secara keseluruhan, awak lepas barrier untuk naik tahun keempat kan. saya dah confirmkan. good job fin" pastu sensei senyum meleret. (':

uwaaa! nak nangis! xtahu nak cakap macam mana, tapi Allah hu Ya Allah. sampai macam ni sekali Allah mudahkan hari hambaNya ni. daripada perasaan nak give up, sebab rasa x cukup masa, dengan keadaan kesihatan yg x berapa okay, dengan izin Allah, saya berjaya attend kedua-dua class pagi tadi, settle kan lab report within dateline and hadapi interview dengan baik, attend meeting lab and dapat pujian dari sensei pasal result. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah (':

nak cakap kat sini pasal perkara menarik yang berlaku dekat saya tu adalah pasal apa yg terjadi berturut-turut ni lah. yang miracles do happen. bila Allah izinkan, maka nya sesuatu perkara tu possible. cumanya, Allah nak ajar kita supaya jgn putus harapan. walaupun, saya sebenarnya macam dah putus harapan sikit pagi tadi, sbb boleh terfikir nak ponteng kelas. tapi Allah pegang jugak hati and guide suruh p klas jugak. so, yang tinggal pada hati saya time tu adalah harapan. baru teringat yang ada kakak ni pernah cakap, bukankah Allah sangat suka pada hati yg penuh pengharapan dan pergantungan padaNya? (':

cakap pasal nikmat kan, banyak sangat, banyak sangat nikmat yang Allah bagi kan. tu baru dalam masa satu hari. itu saya punya cerita dalam satu hari, awak-awak punya cerita pulak mesti berbeza. yang pasti setiap hari semua orang dapat nikmat dari Allah. itu yang kita nampak. yang kita x sedar, udara, air, and nikmat kesihatan, nikmat kasih sayang dari org sekeliling. uwaaa~ banyaknyaaa nikmat dari Allah..

"Dan jika kamu menghitung-hitung nikmat Allah, nescaya kamu tak dapat menentukan jumlahnya. Sesungguhnya Allah benar-benar Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang" 
An-Nahl : 18

mmg tak terhitung kan betapa banyaknya nikmat yang Allah bagi!.

"Maka nikmat Tuhan yang mana lagi yang hendak engkau dustakan?"

dalam Surah Ar-Rahman kan, berkali-kali Allah ulang. selepas segala nikmat yg Allah bagi tu kita nikmati, so tidakkah sepatutnya kita kita ni menjadi hamba yang bersyukur kan? muhasabah diri. maka, marilah menjadi hamba yang bersyukur (':

le happy me ^^

esok boleh beli ice cream sebagai upah untuk diri sendiri. alasan konkrit utk makan aiskrim tanpa rasa bersalah. yay! XD

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

the trust

the trust.

this afternoon, when i was in a bus, i was browsing through the twitter and accidentally caught my eyes at my younger brother's tweet.

it's written "esok kena face to face dengan pengarah pulak dah".

being a concern yet busybody sister, i replied his tweet and asked what's wrong. and he replied with, "ada buat salah sikit". and i asked him back, "buat salah apa?" and he answered with, "mencuri".

that moment, i was like, mad? erm. not really. so many things just pop out in my mind, like, seriously you did that? i can't believe this. are you nuts? ? sort of the things that i thought.

but, i just took a moment and think back, if i were at his place what kind of response that i wanted to hear. then, i simply asked him, " curi apakah adikku?"

and he replied with, "curi hati". hahaha. he was joking. actually he got the offer letter from uitm for the second intake of law course (the course he desired much since high school), so he decided to go there, and has to settle few things as a procedure, that's why he has to meet the 'pengarah.' good for him. alhamdulillah. (:

but the thing i wanna share is about, the trust. if you were in my place,having your baby brother telling you he got caught for stealing,  how would you respond to that? suddenly, get mad, melenting baling2 kerusi? *emo* d: haha.

erm, it's hard to gain someone's trust right? even with your own family. but, i have a great experience of trusting and being trusted and since then, yes, i never ever doubt someone when i already made a decision to trust them.

when i was in high school, i involved in a big problem. yes, big one, that i even have to resign from being a school prefect. and first, when i got into the problem i called my dad, and explained to him what i did and what i didn't and clear the misunderstanding, and my daddy said, "i trust you, don't worry. i will always be there for you."

and after that, i called my mom, and explained the same thing and mama also replied the same, "mama percaya dekat fatin. fatin anak mama, mama happy sangat fatin berterus terang dekat mama".

i was really glad for having my parents with me. i had made a mistake. a mistake, but, it was just not more than that. there's a part where i have to take responsibility for, but it was not supposed to be more than what i have to face. well people, and their exaggeration. sigh~

no teachers believe in me, nobody was trying to get to know what was happening and nobody try to ask for explanation from me. some people even making jokes about it. it was a hard time, that i even asked my mom to transfer me to other school. but somehow, i managed to face it, alhamdulillah.

but, erm, yes, i have to say that i have such a wonderful parents that always trust me in whatever i say and whatever i do. alhamdulillah. you know, if my parents didn't trust me, accepted me with my mistake, and said that they will always be there for me, i will probably not be here, be who i am now.

and from the tragic incident, i believe that trust is the key for any relationship. how should i say this, i won't doubt people that i already decided to trust. and i will keep it that way until i die. i don't know how you feel about this, but accepting people who have made mistake, and giving your TRUST to them is super duper important for me.

i'll give you an example. imagine this, you went to your friend's house (your bestfriend, someone that you know for years and share everything with). you opened the door and saw a dead body and blood everywhere in the living room. and you walked inside the house and suddenly saw your friend in the kitchen, holding a knife with blood on it. your friend saw you, and suddenly cried. now, how would you respond to that?

are you going to run away? what if your friend cry and says, "let me explain this". are you still going to run away? push her away? or listen to what she is going to say? which one? if you were in her place, how would you like people to respond to you? you don't even know whether she kills the man or not, but are you just going to put the blame one her? even if she did, didn't she deserve to give explanation? or not? are you going to stay, and listen?

well, you know the answers best.

i didn't know why i suddenly wrote about this. but it was a very serious "thinking" time when i was in the bus on the way back home this evening. haha d:

well i hope one day, i will get married to the person that can give his full trust to me (vice versa, i'll do the same of course, insyaAllah). even if i make a mistake, will never ever doubt me, but asking me clearly, and giving me a chance to give explanation and asking for forgiveness. because trust is the key of relationship right. and humans aren't perfect. oh my god, this is seriously too emotional. i wanna cry. (':

if someone ask me to define LOVE. just like what mama said, i would just go with, "LOVE is TRUST". i love my parents, my pretty sister, and my two baby brothers very much! ^^

Monday, August 12, 2013

little sister

I had always wanted a little sister when i was a kid. you know, coz i grew up as the youngest one, (i have two little brothers tho), i always thought that if i have one, my life would be erm different? maybe..

maybe if a had a little sister, i could share all my clothes and barbie stuffs with her, playing "masak2" together and talk about fashion and discuss about make-up and stuffs. sounds sooo cool! and sounds so "gedik" jugak btw. -_-"

tapi maaflah, mmg dah macam tu, dari kecik2 dulu memang masuk banyak sungguh pertandingan pakaian beragam ke, princess2 ke, menari2, pertandingan nyanyi ke bercerita, ke bersajak ke. apa2 je yang boleh naik stage, cik fatihin ni akan naik atas stage tu, sanggup, sbb boleh pakai cantik2.
and penah performed menyanyi kat shopping complex, kat radio, pastu berlakon teater. and haha, yg ni mesti ramai x percaya, i even joined "gimrama" for 6years, dari darjah 1 sampai form 1 because it's cool team, and boleh pakai cecantik pastu femes. LOL. x caya? boleh tanya mama, sbb mama yg support anak dia ni masuk semua benda tu..thank you mama! nanti balik mesia, i try cari gambar2 tu balik, haha XD

so i was thinking then, if i have a little sister, maybe, maybe la apa yg i buat time budak2 dulu, adik pon akan buat jugakk... i mean, it must be fun! ada geng, ada adik perempuan yg join and buat apa yg kita suka sama2! kann??? tapi, xpalah, we can't always choose what we want. ada adik lelaki pon boleh lah, layan jelah main bola dalam rumah sampai pecah pasu bunga. sebab tu la kot jadi kasar and x berapa nak sopan sekarang ni. -_-

mungkin kah jika ada adik perempuan, nur fatihin akan jadi lebih sopan santun? *harapan*

dah datang jepun ni, ada family angkat and dapat la sorang adik perempuan : ICHIKO. nama ichiko tapi panggil ICCHAN. bunyi sangat cute kan! well, she's soo damn cute! sesuai la dgn nama.


fefeeling hubungan macam adik and kakak, tapi hurm tapi, sendiri pon tahu, beza umur sebenarnya macam ibu dan anak. haha
icchan setahun, kak fin 22 tahun. well..age is just a number XD

walaupun di umur 20-an baru dapat adik perempuan, pastu xde la boleh share minat or buat banyak perkara sama2 memandangkan perbezaan umur yg sangat ketara, and she can't even speak yet.. tapi sayang sangat kat ichiko ni! ^_^

lol, happy nya dapat buat entry pasal little sister! thank you icchan! selamat hari raya kelima semua!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

eid ul fitri in japan

salam wbt.

so this is going to be my second year celebrating "eid ul fitri" in japan. alhamdulillah. one more experience as a student who study abroad, which going to make me more mature and independent, insyaAllah. towards becoming an adult! yoshha! XD

takaballahu minna wa minkum! may all our acts of worship during ramadhan will be accepted and benefits us in the hereafter, insyaAllah. (':

it's really sad to leave ramadhan, but i do excited for tomorrow's eid ul fitr. i mean who won't?

well, celebrating eid ul fitr is actually "a symbolic" as a victory for all muslims. it is a sunnah, to take a shower, wear good clothes and go for the "eid prayer". we are celebrating the fact that fasting and increasing our ibadah during ramadhan has helped us to become a better Muslim, to be in submission to Allah's will. so, yeah, we should celebrate it, but, in a proper way, please, in the way that Islam provides..

so basically, the plan for tomorrow is to wake up early, of course, wear my baju raya, and go to school. haha! -_-"

aiyoo~ my turn for presentation is going to start at 2.30pm, and i was thinking to go for eid prayer at Sendai mosque in the morning, but but but, i couldn't finish my slides by 4pm today, and my super handsome senior order me to come to the lab early morning tomorrow coz he's going to make the final check before the presentation. ahhhhhh! not lucky enough, huh?

but, it's okay. i'll stop complaining. for now. d:
yeah, because some things need some things to be sacrificed in order to gain some things, rite?*pening*

buat apa nak sedih2, kita ada skype, penghubung wajah keluarga2 tercinta walau di mana jua anda berada.

so, yeah, cucuh mercun kena Pakya, SELAMAT HARI RAYA ! wehuu!

selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin. minta maaf, minta maaf, minta maaf sangat2 untuk semua salah dan silap, terkasar bahasa dan perlakuan yang tak menyenangkan...sorry (':

eh by the way, tudung atas ni beli kat daiso. cantik kan? d:
i was browsing around Daiso(100yen shop) to find a glue stick yesterday when i saw this flowery scarf! and i just thought that, hurm, i should buy something for my self to celebrate "hari raya". so, i pon belilah. XD

selamat hari raya dari nur fatihin yang berada di perantauan! hantar salam perantauan tapi x keluar2 pon, tamak sangat kot hantar sampai 3 paper, sekali x keluar satu pon, k fine. -.-"
salam perantauan dekat blog sendiri jelah. haha! selamat hari raya! (^_^)/

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


that one fine day when you unintentionally dressed up exactly the same color as the flowers. 
it was just a nice feeling (':
#nemophila #randompost 

i have a dream too. 
i want to go for a date to a place like here, full with flowers 
and treasure the beautiful scenery of Allah's creation with the person i love, one day. 
well, if Allah wills it ^_^

Sunday, August 4, 2013


salam wbt.

recently my life is getting back to normal, with a stable momentum of strength to be distributed equally for each day in a week. alhamdulillah. it's back to normal in the end of blessing month of ramadhan (':

just want to point out and have some small opinions about the topic i've mentioned above, PLAN and MAKE IT REAL.

do we really plan things out and make it happens? if we do, how often? 

well, i am the type of person who hates to plan but i do plan. 
okay, honestly i hate planning because for me, planning needs courage. by doing so, it means "you are making a promise and are responsible to work out for the plan that you set up" 

so, it's really hard to get me into any projects/events and sort of things without a proper plan. or should i say, i don't really deal with matters that don't have plan. 
because planning creates line between how important or not certain things, i won't easily voicing out opinions without having the plans in my mind.

have you ever heard the story about a group of mice who want to avoid a cat?
they were having a discussion when suddenly there's a mouse who proposes to put a bell on the cat, so as to be able to hear the cat coming. everybody thinks it was a great idea, but when it comes to "make it real", nobody's intend to do it. idea without plan is just a waste. and a plan is also a waste if we don't start to work on it.

there might be some people who don't agree with me, some people who think that we have to voice out our opinion, no matter what it is, despite the possibility of making it happens. well it's okay, it's totally fine with me. because i do celebrate differences. (:

well, just so you know that i do celebrate differences, and eventually took part in some of unplanned things of yours, im hoping the same, vice versa. you should celebrate differences too and not be mad at me just because i asked, "what is your plan?"(:



one of the characteristics(muwasafat tarbiyah) that an individual muslim should have > ORGANIZED WORKS. which also gives the meaning of "plan and make it real". 


Saturday, August 3, 2013

me, dinosaur and presentation

"To fail to prepare is to prepare to fail"


third year mid-term, research paper presentation, I'll give my best, insyaAllah! (:

looking at this picture, i remember that i used to own a set of dinosaur toys when i was a kid. ganas kan? hihi~ barbie n all those girlish stuff pon main jugak. ada set masak2 barbie, set bilik tidur, and barbie rapunzel rasanya..haha! kids.

 tapi rasanya kecik2 dulu im more interested with legos and blocks kalau main indoor la. kalau petang2 mama bagi main dekat luar, suka sangat main "rounders". you know rounders? macam baseball. "macam" laaa..hihi~ mmg akan scout habis semua jiran2 and ajak main sekali.. alamak, rindunyaa (':

Saturday, July 20, 2013



lama x menulis T_T hari ni tetiba rasa nak menulis sikit.

walaupun dah lepas fasa pertama ramadhan, tapi kira aci jelah nak wish selamat berpuasa dekat semua pembaca blog.

dah boleh dah kot nak tolak gear tu bagi banyak sikit, kasi laju sikit performance2 ibadah yg dilakukan time bulan best ni. *cakap kat cermin* -_- saikin busy gila sampai kekadang terabai banyak benda. adoii, ruginya rasa bila ramadhan jatuh time bulan exam. tapi bila pikir balik, kalau jatuh time bulan x exam pon, nanti ada la jugak alasan busy yg lain kan. haih manusia T_T

untuk yang dah nak start exam(bebudak kat jepun ni), selamat berusahalah! ganbare! kalau nak wish "good luck", kita tak pakai luck kan, hii~ kita pakai blessing yg Allah bagi, ada org usaha tapi x leh jawab exam, ada x usaha tapi Allah permudahkan jawab..x kisah la kita dapat situasi mana pon, tapi kita kena usaha.. sebab apa? sunnatullah. kalau usaha insyaAllah, usaha itu x akan di sia-siakan. so, ganbarimasyou! i dah start exam dah btw, dah habis 4 paper dah pon, and have another 6 papers to go, and one research paper presentation!

but hey, dalam kekalutan hidup, jgn lupa, mari manfaatkan ramadhan sebaik-baiknya, menyucikan diri sebersih-bersihnya, buang bad habits and unsur2 jahat dalam diri. phew~ hihi...and dont forget to make doa for all, for you for me, for ummah (:

ganbare = berusahalah!

bye! semoga Allah permudahkan hari anda semua!

Thursday, May 30, 2013


salam wbt.

minggu ni, okay minggu ni, minggu2 yang dalam bulan 5 ni mmg hectic.
saya ingat sebab "penyakit bulan 5" mitos sapa yang ajaq ni pon xtaw, saja cakap utk sedapkan hati sendiri tapi bila dah susun2 balik, what i have done, and what should have been done, dan okay ini bukan sebab penyakit mitos tapi ini adalah kenyataan hidup. memang belambakk besepah betul betul benda yang kena dibuat. dalam masa satu minggu, mmg belambak.
jumlah semua sekali 12 bijik kelas, yang at least 3 kelas ada report setiap minggu, 2 kali experiment which means 2 bijik lah lab-report, 1 kelas engineering drawing means sebijik lukisan, dan meeting2 lab yang perlu attend setiap minggu, dan jugakkk persediaan untuk presentation bulan 9 nanti yang x guna masa kelas, maka berpeluhlah cik fatihin cari masa nak p lab. sapa yang dah masuk lab time third year, time kelas masih belambak-lambak ni pahamlahh perasaan nya dok ulang alik p kelas n p lab, angkut beg dengan buku 3 subjek sehari, angkut laptop and p sengih depan sensei. nasib baikkk sensei lab baik tahap sgt baik teramat sgt.

kena pulak minggu ni minggu exam. apa lagi, serabut la hidup. dan perkara paling menakjubkan hari ni adalah, tadi balik sekolah after maghrib terus tido jap, sebab semalam tido sejam ja. konon nak kasi permission la badan nak rehat sampai pukul 12 tgh malam centu. alah, kalau x kasi permission pon, selalu mmg terlajak jugak sampai pukul 1 pagi ke sbb letih, tapi tadi tup tup pukul 9 ada org call. baiklahhhh, pastu xkan lah buat x reti kan bila org call, maka bangunlah terus dari tido. nampaknya telefon juga tidak memihak kepada patik. selalu x lupa nak silent kan, kali ni terlupa pulak, so xkan la nak marah kat org yg call, sedangkan dia xtaw apa2. haha~ tetiba marah kan, blur kejap, mesti org kat hujung panggilan macam "apa salah saya..." -_-"

kdg2 rasa jealous pulak tgok housemate ada yang boleh tgok drama siap kat youtube. pastu g ngadu kat kawan, tanya "kenapa saya ni macam xdak masa?" *nangis*

dapat pulak kawan yang bila kita cerita apa2 style bidas secara halus. hihiii~
"masa? masa kan Allah yang pegang. mintak la kat Allah. sebenarnya banyak mana masa yang awak nak? nak masa lapang ke?" 

pastu saya pon fikir, banyak jugak. apa kita nak dalam hidup ni sebenarnya? dalam masa sehari 24 jam tu, kita nak apa? betul ke nak masa lapang? xnak rasanya. ha'ah. jadi apa yang kita nak? 

kan ada akhawat sorang ni penah cakap kat saya, "masa sibuk tu kan nikmat,
time tu la kita kan akan mula menghargai, memanfaatkan masa dgn sebenar-benarnya." 

dulu cukup terkesan la dgn kata-kata dia, pastu makin lama macam dah makin lali. rasa macam dah x mampu kadang2, letih lah. macam nak cakap "you all x faham", "this is my life okay, and i have no life" etc. nak jerit lari2 kat gunung! penatnyaaaaaa!!!!

tapi, ada satu perkara best berlaku dalam masa saya mencari "masa lapang"yang kononnya dapat menyelesaikan masalah kesibukan melampau. 

saya adalah member satu mailing list ni taw, pastu time bukak tu banyak lah mail yang masuk kan, pastu salah satu dari pemberi mail tu, ada disertakan nama dan kata2 yang mmg dah di set kan keluar sekali each time beliau hantar email, dan guess what, takdir Allah, tiada perkara yang berlaku secara kebetulan kan kat dunia ni, dan sesungguhnya Allah itu sebaik-baik perancang, dan Allah takdirkan saya terbaca...

"masa lapang bagi seorang dai'e itu adalah permulaan futur baginya".


tersentuh sangat hati baca ni. sebab baca time hati tgh sibuk nak cari masa lapang, dan Allah hadirkan jawapan yang sgt mengharukan. x tahulah ni ayat siapa dan dari mana, x check pulak, tapi mmg nangis la baca. T_T

benarlah, sibuk itu nikmat. kan kita doa kan after solat, kita doa pada Allah supaya dijauhkan dari futur, dan Allah berikan kesibukan kepada kita supaya dijauhkan dari futur itu, Allah makbulkan doa kita. Allah dengar doa kita, Allah sedihnyaaaa. kadang2 rasa macam malu sgt, as hamba yang selalu lalai, tapi Allah still sambut doa hambaNya ni.

share lah satu video best pasal menuntut ilmu. 

IMAM HASAN AL-BANNA - Kewajipan kita adalah lebih banyak daripada waktu yang kita ada. 

haaa ambik tu fatihin. *panah petirr*


Monday, May 27, 2013

Penyakit bulan lima.

salam wbt.

do you ever feel depressed, down, not in a good mood, for things you can't make it into words? and the thing continuously attacked you for few weeks. and you reached the "genkai" (limitation) of it, and suddenly cry for no reason. have you ever faced this kind of situation?

some of my friends said i suffered this disease called "五月病" = PENYAKIT BULAN LIMA.
they said that it's common for people to get stressed like crazy, super lazy, more sensitive and sometimes laugh for no reason during may. WHYYYYY? (yeah i did suffer the stress and lazy part, but hey, xdakla sampai sensitif nak merajuk2 bagai or gelak sorang2) -_-"

but WHYYY??? why it has to be MAY?? why not AUGUST? or SEPTEMBER please.

okay fine. we're not going to question more about that. because i think i knew the answer but i just don't bear to admit it. haiah~

i can lie that im good, im cool, im happy, but my body can't. seriously, kalau x xkan la suddenly dah dapat penyakit sakit pinggang(tua sangat ke i ni? T_T), sakit kepala, letih melampau, late period, emo selalu and macam2 lagi lah. and i failed to send my engineering drawing assignment on time, for the first time! tho that im a student of technical school before, i have lotsa advantages compared to the other japanese student, so when this happened it's kinda made me feel down, sad. and guess what, i also did one terrible thing which is i cancelled all my "baito" (part-time job) for no reason since last few weeks. but i accepted one last friday because yeah he insisted.

i even wrote this to myself(notes which i got during leadership workshop, i wrote it again and again) during classes this morning just to motivate and cheer me up. crazy isn't it?
i just totally out of idea on how to bring the spirit back. haha.

maybe writing could help me, you know, at least 1-2% to reduce my stressness(is there such word?). im going to sleep after this, and wake up with a new hope, insyaAllah.
if this is what so-called as "五月病", it's fine!! today is 27of May incase you forgot. so it's going to be 4 more days to go, and im gonna get my life back! okay! yossha!

life as a third year student is really killing me. seriously.
fin no longer has a life.

sincerely, fin. -_-"

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Speech Contest 2010 ^_^

Speech Contest 2010!

bila tengok balik, mmg rasa -__-"
hahaha! xtaw rasa apa, tapi 出てよかった!alhamdulillah (':

yang masuk speech contest 2012, xde pulakk videonya. layan jela yg ni, sikit jela tapi...(^^)/

Monday, April 15, 2013

latest update...about me. yeah, just in case, you want to know. ^^

salam wbt.

alhamdulillah untuk segala nikmat, dan segala yg dikecapi selama 22 tahun hidup ini. (':

i'm still new in the 22's club. heee~

latest update from me, dah masuk third year as mechanical engineering student at tohoku university, sendai.

have been assigned to Takeda's lab. and start segala research. btw, maybe ramai xtaw, im a mechanical engineering student, dalam course designing system, and untuk lebih specific, majoring dalam material and evaluation. so basically, i punya lab buat research pasal ketahanan power plant dari segi material. ada dua jenis power plant yg lab ni buat research, satu nuclear power plant, satu lagi yg guna fossil fuel. well, not bad. walaupun i punya minat lebih kepada nuclear itself, nuclear energy tu, bukan power plant semuaa, but it's not that bad. yang terbaik yang Allah beri adalah yang di sini. labmate pon sgt welcoming, sensei is cool, and kind, and young. haha.
and seniors also great. the type of person yang say hye dekat org. haaa~ yang tak biarkan kita blur sorang2. everything about my lab is great, for now, alhamdulillah.

and pasal study pulak, mmg makin busy. sangat. keluar rumah pukul 7 pagi, balik pon mmg tiap2 hari lewat. paling awal 7, paling lewat 9.30 malam. sigh~ x tahulaa nak bahagi masa macam mana..

dengan part time job lagi. TT and engineering drawing class(you know how much time it took to finish one!), and programming yg mmg lumrahnya cik fatihin ni laaa yg akan duduk 6-8jam depan komputer, and 2 experiments which means 2 lab reports in a week. itu x masuk lagi assignment2 untuk 8subject yang i ambik this semester, and plus, since dah masuk lab, kena pandai2 laaa dok p menonjolkan muka dekat lab sendirik or else mmg kena perli la dgn sensei nanti, pastu dgn research and stuff, and presentation untuk research yg dah ada tarikh, tapi research punya temaaa pon i x sempat tengok lagi.

and yeah, my life is not only about all that, ada jugak tanggungjawab2 lain kann. tanggungjawab as housemate, tanggungjawab one of the malaysian community in japan, in sendai, tanggungjawab g usrah n banyak lagi lahhh...

and disebabkan itulah i have decided to drop programming subject, and stop doing part time job. drop klas programing boleh la save 6-8 jam. pastu stop part time job ajar english. i ada 4 student, tapi tulah, nak stopkan 2 orang, walaupun rasa bersalah gilaaaaa, tapi well, i dah send email cakap x nak mengajar dah, tapi no reply. mmg bikin rasa bersalah gilaaaa ~.~

seriously, susah kot nak buat keputusan kan. dah umur 22 pon, still rasaa macam ahhhhh, WHY I HAVE TO DECIDE THIS AND THAT??  centu kannn. ia sgt menganggu fikiran okay. i mmg x boleh, x sukaa laaa bila kena buat keputusan. time engineering drawing punya class pon lukisan mmg senget benget habis sbb sambil dok garis dok fikir "patut ke drop klas programming?" "betul ke pilihan yg dibuat ni?"

tapi alhamdulillah, i have made up my mind. will drop klas programming, and kurangkan buat part time job. there you go, pasni tengok ada improvement dak dari segi pembahagian masa. sobss TT
sebab serius i x happy dengan keadaan sekarang....tapi ada akhawat ni cakap "BUSY TU KAN SATU NIKMAT"... tapi, i takut laa kalau busy yang menjauhkan kita dari Allah...xnak xnak xnak. takottt~

okaylah, dahlah, saja update sikit sbb mcm lama dah x update. sorry.

nah lah sekeping gambar, untuk sapa yang rindu cik fin kat blog ni. hii~ gambar ramai2 la tapi. XD

Saturday, March 30, 2013

kisah saya dan lesen kereta.

salam. hye. (:

i totally have no idea why am i writing this entry. but the writing mood came soon after some of my friends were talking about "car, car". KERETA. phew.

one of the things that i have to struggle and still become my big, major obstacle until now is, ahhhhhhhh, to get a driving license here. yes here,in japan. in sendai, to be exact.

uhh! i have, one of my friend who said something when i was frustrated to death when i failed for the erm 10th time. it was during ramadhan and that was my last test.

back from the license center, with a sleepy, crying face, (because i took the 9th time driving test the day before, and i did cry a lot that night), i went to a shopping complex, LOFT, and was browsing around just to calm myself. i was at LUSH, one of my favorite cosmetic shop, when she gave me a call. eh wait, why i have to tell specifically where i am at that time? -_-"

ahhh. maybe bcoz i remember clearly what had happened on that day. that day. Sigh~ nampak tak betapaa menusuknya kejadian tersebut dalam hati. -.-

she asked me how was it and i told her i failed for the 10th time, and that i don't want to take the driving test anymore. i was really not in a stable mood and almost shouted at her. can you imagine how frustrated i am at that moment? with all the money and time i spent for the driving test! ahhhhhh! you know, THE PAIN. THE PAIN. it really hurts.

and she let me cry. and i did. it was such a relief to have someone err usually people would say that a shoulder to cry on, but in my situation it was a phone call to cry on. haha. padahal basically meaning yg nak disampaikan adalah sama. maaflah saya pemusnah bahasa XD

back to the story. After i cried, and with all the complaint i've made, biasalah kann, nangis2 jugak, mulut nyot nyet nyot nyet dok komplain this and that, pakcik jpj tu pembuli la, pakcik tu cerewet laa.

she simply asked me,
"for whose sake you are doing it for?"

i was like, haaaa??? kena ada sebab ke?
basically, mestila utk diri sendiri. ini dah kali ke sepuluh kott.
i am desperately in need of a license so that i can ride my scooter to school.

rasa nakk marah2, tanya lagi sebab apa. haa -.-"

and she continued with,
"maybe you don't really need the license for now. because Allah knows the best. and He haven't let you to drive a car or scooter, maybe because you are still not ready"

"and He wants to teach you not to rely to anybody, not even to the sensei who tested you, He wants you to rely on Him, only Him"

and we end our conversation.

yeah maybe, maybe, i put too much hope on sensei. and i forgot to pray. i rely too much on other people, hoping they will let me pass the test. i forgot that after all, it's Allah's will that count. and i keep her word until now.

thank you for everything you said. it did calm me a lot.

and that moment i realized that i also did put too much hope at the license. i mean like, kalau x dapat lesen tu, xleh hidup. padahal i ada ja option, i boleh naik bas g sekolah, tapi i x nak try. itulah masalahnya, seribu satu alasan!

tapi i naik la jugak. TERPAKSA KHANN~ paksa paksa, lama lama jadi sukaaa.
i took the bus everyday since last semester, siap ada free pass laaa bagai, kadang2 naik bas kosong rasa macam anak raja, kadang2 ramai sgt rasa macam dalam sushi tuna yg digulung padat bersama mayonis, but i have no problem with it, alhamdulillah. even it took almost an hour to reach my campus. kadang2 terlewat la jugak 2 3 puluh minit. hehe. d:

and i promised myself not to take the driving test until i throw away the desperate feeling. "needy" feeling is fine, but desperate is not good. seriously. bcoz it will make you panic like crazy. Pastu bila x dapat apa yg kita nak, kecewa sampaii xmenahan, hati tersangattt hancur lumat berkecai bersepai-sepai. maaf, hiperbola sangat.

so now, im in a third year. And it is almost a year since i first took the driving test. and i don't feel like going to school by scooter pon, in fact, scooter tu pon dah almost 6 months x gerak, it just that, i feel the need to drive in japan. but, what makes me feel that? let just make it remains as a secret. haha. misteri gitu. d;

to be honest, i don't really like driving. and i'm not good at it. rasanyaa semua orang taw kot, im not good at driving. Time drive xdak orang sapa kacau, sorang2 i boleh p langgaq tiang. bukan langgaq belakang time reverse ka apa, tapi langgaq sisi, kona x lepas. and there's one time, i nak masuk parking, ada laa dalam sepuluh kali jugak i drive keluaq masuk petak parking tu utk masukkan kereta properly dalam petak tu sampaikan ada 2-3 org pakcik jepun ni ternganga tengok. so this is nur fatihin. i bawak kereta cermat ja, slow, x laju pon, cuma i seriusss x pandai nak bajet saiz kereta tu. T_T

but, in this life there is a line between, what you love to do, and what you MUST DO.
hurm. it's all about responsibility laa. kalau dah antara calon2 nya yg mmg sikit pastu kauu antara yg legally boleh and capable untuk ambik driving test tu, kalau dok deny lagi tak mau tak mau, mmg hurm, well, what can i say, being irresponsible lah.

so, woahhh panjangnyaaa tulis, haha,
so what i want to say is, i am ready to take the challenge again, inshaAllah. Oh i mean, the driving test. yaayyy!! so im going to take it next week.

haha. Perlu keeeee entry panjang2 just nak kecoh kat satu dunia cakap nak ambik driving testttttt setelah failed 10 kaliiiii. kau dah kenapaa fin.

ignore that.

and i hope that you guys, who is reading this, yeah you, please pray for me. thank youu.

semoga dengan izin Allah, keredhaan Allah, usaha saya, doa saya dan anda semua, akan mempermudahkan lagi urusan ini. ganbarimasu! (':

p/s : abah pernah tanya kereta macam mana yang i suka, i jawab myvi. *dengan penuh yakin* sangattt pencinta barang tempatan okay. hahaha. kononnya d:
tapi muka abah lepas i jawab tu macam, "lol, nak pakai myvi ja". ahahaha~ muka boleh berkata-kata gitu.
but, seriously, if i were to buy a car, i will go for myvi or yang macam myvi. ouh, honda fit pon okay jugak actually d:
sbb ia kecik, and comel, and diyakini i boleh masuk petak parking dengan senang, dan boleh kona dengan selamat tanpa mencium mana2 tiang.
and pity my future husband, he has to do a serious job taking care of his car, and my car too, because i seriously know nothing about car. zero. isi minyak pon suruh adik buat. untunglah ada dua adik lelaki. (:

myvi pink idaman hati

Thursday, March 28, 2013

stop being judgmental.

it was too annoying to have a friend who always being judgmental. 

mentioning this and that, pointing out others flaws. 

you can't do this, you can't do that...because you're still new at it/you don't have enough knowledge/you don't have experience...bla bla. treating you like you are not capable of doing anything. 

i remembered that i read in one of the motivational book that i bought recently when i was back in malaysia, it said, stop being friend with someone that always put you down.

but no. not that i'm going to stop being a friend to someone but yeah i should just avoid talking about dreams or stuffs with him/her. 

because it always like, when i was talking about big dream, mission or things to be done, what i want to achieve in the near future, he/she 's always like...  

boleh ke awak buat? 

awak mampu ke? 

tak mungkin. kite rasa awak x boleh. 

hurm, itu ke cita2 sekarang? xlama lagi mesti awak ubah fikiran. 


ohhh please, sgt annoying.

because i always trust that THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE in EVERYTHING.

and i don't need someone to tell me what i can't do, what i can't achieve.

kalau tak boleh nak bagi semangat dekat orang lain, sila diam, sebab mematikan semangat dan harapan orang lain adalah satu perkara yang sangat kejam. seriously.

i'm sorry. this entry is just too emotional. but i have to write this, as a reminder, to all of us, of course for me too. 

hurm, i teringat, situasi ni, mmg sebijikkk macam yg dr muhaya cakap, haritu waktu balik malaysia, ada la tengok rancangan dr muhaya n beliau ada cakap yang zaman sekarang ni banyak sungguh orang yang ada sifat yang bagi aura negatif dekat orang lain, which is suka mematikan semangat orang lain, and susah nak puji or bagi semangat kat orang.

indeed. sama2 lah kita check diri kita, adakah kita termasuk dalam golongan yang kalau bercakap tu suka sangat nak matikan harapan orang lain...

Sunday, March 17, 2013

dan Allah itu adalah sebaik-baik perancang..

kadang2 kita x sedar yang ada perkara2 yang kita lakukan, akan memberi impak dan kesan pada orang lain.

kadang2 kita lupa, kita bukan hidup seorang diri dalam dunia ni. banyak hati2 di sekeliling yang perlu dijaga, jasad2 yang perlu disantuni selayaknya sebagai makhluk Allah.

kerana manusia terikat dalam kitaran hidup manusia inilah, ada hati yang mungkin terluka dan terguris kerana tindakan yang datang juga dari seorang manusia.

sampai bila kita nak rasa bebas dgn kehidupan diri sendiri, perlakuan diri sendiri tanpa mempedulikan orang lain.

dan Allah itu adalah sebaik-baik perancang...

andai kata hati kita terluka atau terguris, maka percayalah, pasti ada hikmah di sebaliknya (':

kerana sifat Allah itu sebagai perancang yang Maha Sempurna.

"dan mereka merancang, Allah juga merancang. dan ALLAH sebaik-baik perancang" 3:54